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In response to Cindy Adams of The New York Post and her visit to Maine:
Dear Cindy,
Thanks for visiting, We certainly appreciate your heartfelt efforts.
A few suggestions for your next visit up in our heavenly neck of the wood, should you dare. 1. North Woodstock, New Hampshire. They train wild bears at Clark's Trading Post and they love to eat ice cream. They are morbidly obese and have no fashion sense. They dress "outdoorsy" most all the time, lay around most of the day, and are just waiting on their next meal. They’re not overly picky eaters, either. While they partake of a healthy, daily dose of fruits and vegetables, somehow they hang onto the "junk in their trunks." You know, "husky".
Most Mainer's would agree with the following: we appreciate the fact that you came and visited, and even though you didn't care for the place, you spent money, paid sales tax to the State of Maine, and went back to your regular, programmed lifestyle. Writing opinions for the New York Post. As my grandfather would say "Opinions are like A........... everyone has one”. You see, this is really the unspoken goal of tourism for the State of Maine. It’s part of a bigger scheme to get people to send us money with no strings attached. We prefer cash but a cashiers check will do. We lure them in with all kinds of fancy pictures of lighthouses, clean water, green grass and oceanic views just like an L L Bean catalog (you know who L.L. Bean was right?), but when we get you here it’s like the continental breakfast at a Super 8 motel. With lots of weird uncles that like to tell stories about hunting and fishing. We don’t want people to get too comfortable, Cindy, We wouldn't want people to wear out their welcome.
2. Had you even trekked up to the top of the Portland Observatory (like most 5th graders in Maine have already done, as Maine History was taught in schools) you would have seen a rich coast full of history, natural beauty and lots of ocean legends. But that’s ok. I’m sure you were probably more interested in shopping in a boutique for over priced items to show off at dinner parties, telling stories of how you rescued said items from the calloused fingers of hardworking retail folks from Maine - while sipping overpriced wine (which by the way was probably made at the Boones Farm Winery).
You neglected to mention that Maine was the home of some of the most interesting people in American History. Hannibal Hamlin (Abe Lincoln's 2nd Vice President), and William Warren Durgin (funeral train honor guard and pallbearer for Abe Lincoln buried in Stoneham. Maine), Joshua Chamberlain, Chester Greenwood (the inventor of the ear muffin from Farmington), And of course, L.L Bean from Greenwood, Maine
It’s such a pity you didn’t stay longer.
3. You would have been privy to some of the best church and community benefit dinners, where they serve up the best Baked Beans and Hotdogs, Turkey Pie, and Chop Suey. Mainers selflessly give and give, providing meals, and a ready ear to people who are in need.
People of Maine are so generous. On a personal note, when I was hospitalized back in October of last year and was placed on a vent for 2 weeks, people stepped up to help my family. I’m told they had some of the best mac & cheese and burgers that ever came out of a kitchen. Their generosity was overwhelming. The community gave and gave to my family, without expecting anything in return. This is my Maine, and I’m proud to say these are my people.
We’re all happy you landed back safely into civilization. Where parts of New York look like war zones and public pooping in the streets is a normal daily sight. We’re happy you landed at your "safe place" where no trees could scratch your BMW and get a bad case of the pine pitch. We wouldn’t want you to like it here so much that you’d want to move here and run for public office. And when I say public office, I mean select person, school board, town consular, Dog Catcher, State Representative, State Senator, or even Governor - that would be bad. Congressional seats are all tied up too, so no go there. That’s where it gets messy . We just want your tourist money and for you to leave. You could probably donate money online, too. I’ve got a list of folks that need help.
As they say, "As Maine goes so does the nation" .......There's flannel pajamas and red hot dogs in your future, Cindy. Maybe. Even. With. A. Fresh. Jar. Of. Piccillilli.
Safe Travels!!!
#newyorkpost
#cindyadams
#stateomaine
#mainelife
#maine
Dear Cindy,
Thanks for visiting, We certainly appreciate your heartfelt efforts.
A few suggestions for your next visit up in our heavenly neck of the wood, should you dare. 1. North Woodstock, New Hampshire. They train wild bears at Clark's Trading Post and they love to eat ice cream. They are morbidly obese and have no fashion sense. They dress "outdoorsy" most all the time, lay around most of the day, and are just waiting on their next meal. They’re not overly picky eaters, either. While they partake of a healthy, daily dose of fruits and vegetables, somehow they hang onto the "junk in their trunks." You know, "husky".
Most Mainer's would agree with the following: we appreciate the fact that you came and visited, and even though you didn't care for the place, you spent money, paid sales tax to the State of Maine, and went back to your regular, programmed lifestyle. Writing opinions for the New York Post. As my grandfather would say "Opinions are like A........... everyone has one”. You see, this is really the unspoken goal of tourism for the State of Maine. It’s part of a bigger scheme to get people to send us money with no strings attached. We prefer cash but a cashiers check will do. We lure them in with all kinds of fancy pictures of lighthouses, clean water, green grass and oceanic views just like an L L Bean catalog (you know who L.L. Bean was right?), but when we get you here it’s like the continental breakfast at a Super 8 motel. With lots of weird uncles that like to tell stories about hunting and fishing. We don’t want people to get too comfortable, Cindy, We wouldn't want people to wear out their welcome.
2. Had you even trekked up to the top of the Portland Observatory (like most 5th graders in Maine have already done, as Maine History was taught in schools) you would have seen a rich coast full of history, natural beauty and lots of ocean legends. But that’s ok. I’m sure you were probably more interested in shopping in a boutique for over priced items to show off at dinner parties, telling stories of how you rescued said items from the calloused fingers of hardworking retail folks from Maine - while sipping overpriced wine (which by the way was probably made at the Boones Farm Winery).
You neglected to mention that Maine was the home of some of the most interesting people in American History. Hannibal Hamlin (Abe Lincoln's 2nd Vice President), and William Warren Durgin (funeral train honor guard and pallbearer for Abe Lincoln buried in Stoneham. Maine), Joshua Chamberlain, Chester Greenwood (the inventor of the ear muffin from Farmington), And of course, L.L Bean from Greenwood, Maine
It’s such a pity you didn’t stay longer.
3. You would have been privy to some of the best church and community benefit dinners, where they serve up the best Baked Beans and Hotdogs, Turkey Pie, and Chop Suey. Mainers selflessly give and give, providing meals, and a ready ear to people who are in need.
People of Maine are so generous. On a personal note, when I was hospitalized back in October of last year and was placed on a vent for 2 weeks, people stepped up to help my family. I’m told they had some of the best mac & cheese and burgers that ever came out of a kitchen. Their generosity was overwhelming. The community gave and gave to my family, without expecting anything in return. This is my Maine, and I’m proud to say these are my people.
We’re all happy you landed back safely into civilization. Where parts of New York look like war zones and public pooping in the streets is a normal daily sight. We’re happy you landed at your "safe place" where no trees could scratch your BMW and get a bad case of the pine pitch. We wouldn’t want you to like it here so much that you’d want to move here and run for public office. And when I say public office, I mean select person, school board, town consular, Dog Catcher, State Representative, State Senator, or even Governor - that would be bad. Congressional seats are all tied up too, so no go there. That’s where it gets messy . We just want your tourist money and for you to leave. You could probably donate money online, too. I’ve got a list of folks that need help.
As they say, "As Maine goes so does the nation" .......There's flannel pajamas and red hot dogs in your future, Cindy. Maybe. Even. With. A. Fresh. Jar. Of. Piccillilli.
Safe Travels!!!
#newyorkpost
#cindyadams
#stateomaine
#mainelife
#maine